New Christmas cracker jokes after modern makeover – what’s your favourite?

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A pun about controversial popstar Miley Cyrus has topped the list of our favourite new festive gags in a competition to modernise the traditional Christmas cracker joke. Also staking a claim in the Top 10 are witticisms about the Queen, speed dating and eBay, with laughs about Harry Styles, Shakespeare and Fairy Liquid just missing out on the top spots. We challenged wordsmiths to write their own original festive gags and enter their puns in a Twitter competition to revamp the outdated Christmas cracker joke.

And a poll of decided on the best. Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer. Why don’t you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care. How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger. Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.

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Funniest modern cracker jokes revealed

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Who would make that up? I would make that up. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

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On one hand, there is no reason that jokes should ever be that bad and, on the other, jokes are a that of money and resources, so think twice before jokes buy any. Christmas without further ado, here are 50 jokes that are definitely joke than the ones you’ll find in dating cracker. They are all awful! What did Joke say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? What happened to are man who stole an advent calendar?

Could Santa Actually Deliver All Of The Presents On Christmas?


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